Who Am I?

Okay, so, once again, I'm going to apologize for the tardiness of the REVAMP segment. I feel like the weeks are just getting crazier as the summer goes on. Not only for me, but also for Bria and Caylin. 

So! I'm sorry that this isn't the post you were probably expecting. But! Don't go anywhere, for I was given some awesome insight yesterday when I went to church that I would like to share with all of you....

Who am I?

When some read that, they think of the song "Who Am I?" from Les Miserables. It sort of popped into my head too, I'll admit it. I could hear Hugh Jackman singing this phrase super intensely before belting out: "24601!" LOL, but I'm digressing.

I feel like this is a question I ask myself daily. Some days I think I'm one person, other days, I feel like someone else. It's not like I change my personality in front of different people or anything (I used to play that game in middle school. Yeah, not fun and will never play it ever again), but I'm just lost when it comes to who I am, what my personality really is.

I know my name. I know my ethnicity and family background. I know where I came from, where I am now. I know what I like, what I don't like. I know who my friends are. I know I'm a Christian, what church I go to. I know I'm a junior in college, an English major, psychology minor. 

But, I still don't know, ya know?

For instance, I say I'm a writer. I just feel like a writer, as I write for my blog, or for fun or in my journal. The next day, I feel like a traveler. I just wanna get out. See the world. Be in a place where I don't know anyone and where no one knows me. That same day, I'll feel like a dancer. The right music gets me moving, and I think about how much Bria and I love to memorize KPOP dances and go to Zumba during the school year. 

Am I the only person who feels like this?

Well, yesterday at church, Pastor Ritchie preached a message focused on Ephesians 1 titled "Identity Crisis." Totally fitting for the moods I've been in this summer, the questions of who I really am floating through my mind constantly. I'm gonna try to go through some of the main points of the message, but it definitely won't be as good as Pastor Ritchie preaching it straight to you, I can tell you that much!

Basically, what I got from yesterday was this: I not only was I reminded of who I am, but also of what I have. 

First of all though, it's good to point out that who I am and what I have is all through Christ. Without that main point, I really wouldn't know anything about who I am or what I've been given. 

So, this is what I learned yesterday:

***What do I have/what have I been given?:

- "every spiritual blessing" (v. 3): Pastor Ritchie pointed out here that just because the verse says "every spiritual blessing", it doesn't mean that God doesn't give us both spiritual and material blessings. Too many times we think of God's blessings as only spiritual, when He's blessed us materially as well!

- "redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses" (v. 7): because of His sacrifice, we are redeemed and forgiven of our sins!

- "an inheritance" (v. 11): when Jesus comes back to earth, we Christians, as His children, will be co-heirs with Him on the new earth for 1000 years!

- "sealed with the promised Holy Spirit" (v. 13): once we heard the Gospel and believed it, we were given the Holy Spirit, who now resides inside of us. Pastor Ritchie said that sometimes people say that they wish they could go back to Old Testament times so they could communicate with God one-on-one and actually see the Holy Spirit...but we can see the Holy Spirit inside of every day Christians today. Of course, not physically see the Spirit, but we interact with it every time we come in contact with a fellow brother- or sister-in-Christ.

So, WHO AM I?

Well, if we look at the above section, it kind of speaks for itself...

I am a Christian, therefore, through Christ...

I am blessed abundantly.

I am redeemed and forgiven.

I am a co-heir of the kingdom to come.

I am a temple for the Holy Spirit.

And if I can focus the core of who I am on all of these things, I'll be able to trust God when it comes to my identity or personality regarding things like writing, traveling, or dancing.

But if you ask me, those three things seem rather insignificant when I look at the bigger picture.


I hope you all are reminded of who you are and what you've been given through Christ. Even though with every day life can distract us from remembering this, it is a comfort and an encouragement to know that our identity isn't based off of those things. Work, school, a career path, a hobby, friends, family, etc. - NONE of these things define who you are, if you are a believer in Jesus Christ.

Look to Him for your identity. And I can guaratnee you that you will like what you see far better when you focus on Him than on other things.

I love you all! I hope you have an amazing week! I'll definitely try to post something revamp-ish this week or this weekend! Thanks for bearing with me!

luv ya!
~ Mishy (^^) <3

Trust and "Living as a Temple"

Hey guys!

Well, it's about that time of the year: spring time. And it seems that when the sun comes out, love is in the air. In the past couple of weeks since I've been back from spring break, and even maybe the week before then, couples have been popping up here and there.

You probably know where I'm going with this. I'm going to be completely open and honest here about what's been going on with me and what I've been thinking lately. So, hang on tight!

Yes, I am single, and yes, it is a struggle to be single sometimes. At first, when I heard about some people I cared about getting into relationships, I was genuinely happy for them. You know, being in a relationship is a great big step in life, and it's exciting and fun and adorable. 

But you know, after a few weeks or more of hearing about a few new couples getting together, that genuine joy for them begins to fade. You smile when you hear the news, but inside, you begin to think, "Wow, everyone I know is getting in a relationship. I suddenly have this pressure that I need to be in one too."

And then after thinking those thoughts, I knew that I really didn't need to have that pressure and that being single isn't bad. I know this. In fact, a part of me really isn't ready to open myself up to that just yet. So instead of moping around because I didn't have a significant other, I began to question exactly why I didn't. I began to criticize who I was: my personality, my outer appearance, my talents, my interests, my everything. I played the "Comparison Game" once again, and most of the time, whenever you play this game, you lose. 

So yesterday after work, I was crying in my room, feeling just ugly, unlovable, not good enough. I questioned my worth and who I was and if there was something wrong with me that other people could see that I couldn't. And while I was sulking in all these feelings, my mom called unexpectedly.

And as a girl, I told my mom what I was feeling, how I really just didn't want to be on campus anymore with everyone walking around in pairs and how it was all just really hard. My mom gave me some advice, telling me not to think about it, but of course, that all is easier said than done. 

I continued to lie in bed crying, when I noticed my His Princess Warrior book sitting in the corner next to my alarm clock. Now, I know, this sounds like one of those cheesy, Christian encouragement books, but I'm not joking, almost every single time I pick that book up and read the pages where my bookmark was placed last, the topic is always something I'm struggling with and the encouragement is just what I need. That's a total God thing, and I know it. Only the Holy Spirit could move me to pick that book up and feel as if I could get some help from it.

Of course, it isn't the Bible, but the fact that they are "letters from God" (written by Sheri Rose Shepherd, of course, and based on what Scriptures say themselves) that are to strengthen me in my daily walk is such an encouragement. Anyways, it was called "The Trust Factor," and this is what it said:

My Princess Warrior,

It's time, My Warrior, to surrender your fears, your insecurities, your pain, and your loved ones completely to Me. 

I want your whole heart and mind and soul to be worry free. I want your complete trust so you can focus on your faith and be free from the spirit of fear controlling you. Give up the fight of trying to figure it all out. Don't let your circumstances hold your heart hostage or cause you to lose your confidence in Me.

I am asking you on this day to answer this one question: In whom do you place your trust?

Love,
Your trustworthy King


That right there encouraged me so so much. The peace of God just swept over me. 

The last line of the letter is in bold because that question completely struck my heart. Who was I placing my trust in? Honestly, I was placing it in other people's opinions and thoughts. I was concerned about what the world thought of me, and I placed my value in that. And that is totally not what I'm supposed to be doing!!

Even though this letter really touched my heart, that doesn't mean my struggle of being single went away automatically. But to be reminded that I can place my trust in the Lord of the universe was just too amazing for words.

And the verses that were given for this letter? Ahhh, so perfect:

"So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that He has promised." ~ Hebrews 10:35-36 (NLT)

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and no grow weary. They will walk and not faint." ~ Isaiah 40:31 (NLT)

God's truth and promises laid out in Scripture! Such a beautiful thing!!!

Now fast-forward to today...

This morning, there was a women's event called "Living as a Temple: Self-Compassion, Body Image, and Imago Dei" that all women of Covenant College and even the Lookout Mountain community were invited too. I knew this was going to be an encouraging event, but I felt that I would hear the same basic things I was always told: 

"You're fearfully and wonderfully made!" 

"God made you like no one else on this earth! You are made in His image!"

"Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, therefore we need to take care of them and respect them! Here are some tips..."

And while Kellie Currin (the speaker), did touch on these things, she focused a lot on self-compassion instead of self-esteem. Self-compassion is giving yourself grace because you know that you're not perfect and never will be. You aren't so hard on yourself for the mistakes you make, but rely on the sacrifice Jesus made to cover those sins and flaws you have. Yes, when we sin, we are to bring it before the Lord in repentance, but we don't have to punish ourselves so severely and wallow in guilt-ridden feelings all the time. We are FREE IN CHRIST! When we allow ourselves grace for being imperfect people and learn to love and respect ourselves, we can then show that same love and respect and compassion to others. 

Something that Kellie said that I loved was that when we think about all of the negative thoughts about ourselves (i.e. Your ugly. You're not worth it. You're so stupid.), we would never tell someone else we knew those things. So, if we wouldn't tell our friend or anyone else that they're ugly, not worth it, or stupid, why do we say those things about ourselves?

I wish I'd had my journal with me to take notes during the event, but alas, I didn't! But I truly got so much more from that than I thought I was going to. There was also an amazing video of a spoken word by two women listing our fears and doubts and reminding us of God's unconditional love. It was on a blog called "A Holy Experience." I encourage y'all to check it out! I think it was called something like, "This Is Us: The #EstherGeneration".

Afterwards, we all broke off into smaller groups and discussed what we learned and what struck us the most. Our group actually got past the issues of body image and touched on deeper, more vulnerable topics. But I was so at peace and amazed how a group of girls, who sort of knew each other, could just be open about what they were struggling with and ask for prayer for those things. 

It really opened my eyes to the fact that, even though some people look like they have it all together on the outside, on the inside they could be hurting so much. And now, I am so motivated to continue to pray for all the women on our campus (and even my campus as a whole!) because everyone has gone through different things and is still going through things. 

My heart right now is at peace, encouraged by the truth that was spoken to me through the event and through Scripture and my fellow sisters-in-Christ. I know this doesn't mean that I'll never have the struggle of being single again. It will come up again eventually. But I need to remember who I place my trust in. 

Not the people around me. Not this world. But my Savior, Jesus Christ, who smiles on me and sees me for who I am: His beautiful daughter. 

And seeing myself as that allows me to say that it's okay that I'm single. I can be single and still see myself as beautiful, and that doesn't necessarily mean that everyone around me thinks there's something wrong with me. I can be confident in who I am because I know Whose I am! 

I can use this time of singleness to focus more on living for God. Not saying that I can't do that when I have a relationship, but it's more difficult to focus on anything but that once I am. So, I'm praying that I see this time as a positive thing!

And I can also trust that God has a plan for my life, whether that's being single & content with that or eventually getting married, and that it will be so very good and more than I could possibly imagine! And that's EXCITING!!!!

And all of you who belong to Christ: you are all beautiful, wonderful creations of His! You are made in His image! :) Don't forget Whose you are and the freedom you have because of it!

I hope y'all's weekend is going great! I'm taking a little time to write this, but then I have to get started on this homework. I have a creative writing assignment (cause, I mean, when do I not?) and Bria and I have a Doctrine 2 test on Monday! :P If you think of us at all this weekend, please pray that that goes well for us!

And speaking of my best friend Bria, she went to the women's event this morning too and wrote a blog post about it as well! She's got such great reflections on what she got out of it, so definitely check out her post on it HERE: http://bria1320.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/finding-our-worth/

Also, I just wanted to clarify that I told y'all about my struggles, not to get sympathy from you, but to express that I'm still human and still going through this journey called life, and that while I'm writing to y'all about serving the Lord and trusting in Him, I definitely don't have it all figured out, and won't until the day I am made perfect in Him! Please just continue to pray for me as I go through my daily walk! Your prayers are so so appreciated!!! 

Love you all! Praying that your weekend is filled with fun and rest! Know that you are not alone in your struggle! The Lord stands by you! And what a comfort that is!

#luvya!
~ Mishy (^^) <3

Updates, Announcements, and Encouragement

Hello out there!

First, let me start by apologizing for the title of this post. It's so boring and unappealing, I wouldn't have blamed you for skipping out on reading this one and demanding something with more substance. But it's been over a month since I've been on, and small updates, a spring break announcement, and a bit of encouragement are all I have for right now. Forgive me! My schedule is so demanding this semester that I gotta stay on top of things!

Again, so sorry for the title and for being so silent lately, but ya know, college is college and it seeks to completely take over my life.

These past couple of weeks have been more hectic than usual because of all the snow days we've had. Snow days are all fun and games until you get back to classes the week after and realize you're going to have two tests back-to-back and then next week you're going to have three papers due within two days.

Yeah, that all happened to me. 

Thankfully though, I am passed all of that. I can slightly breathe a sigh of relief and kick my feet up for like five seconds before I have to start another assignment. And school's not the only thing I have to worry about. I've had to deal with summer employment applications for my school and call the jury office this week or I would be required to show up for jury duty next week.

Yes, I was summoned for jury duty a few weeks back. It's now been pushed back for the summer time, thankfully. It still seems really surreal that I have to actually sit in a courtroom and listen in on a case. So crazy.

I am SO PUMPED for spring break though. The end of last week and the weekend displayed springtime weather, encouraging all of campus that spring was definitely either on its way or here. Shorts, t-shirts, tanks, and flip flops appeared all over campus. Sadly, the cold weather has returned :( But, this weekend it's supposed to heat back up again, and I'm hoping that means the warm weather is here to stay!

So, about that spring break announcement...where will tha SHAWTIES (aka Bria, Caylin, Taylor, and I) be going for our spring break adventure this year? 

Drum roll, please...

*BAINBRIDGE, GEORGIA*

Okay, most of you probably don't even know where that is, but it's Caylin's hometown! :D And we'll also be taking a day trip to Tallahassee, Florida to go to the beach! SO EXCITED! And this year, Taylor will be able to come with us! It's definitely gonna be a SHAWTY SPRING BREAK  for the books!

Caylin was taking orders on what type of food we wanted during spring break. Just hearing what we'll be eating and making plans to read, write, and accomplish different projects is making me even more antsy for spring break. I'm ready to kick my feet up for more than five seconds and embrace the time we have away from work and class.

So, about that encouragement...lemme say this...

To be completely honest, y'all, I've been struggling so much to stay motivated and to truly rest in the Lord. Every day, something different demands my attention: school, work, outside business (such as jury duty or US Census Bureau papers), friends, and the list goes on and on.

I've been really discouraged in my writing lately. I'm taking three English courses at the same time (and I sometimes ask myself, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"), each of them teaching different styles of writing. In my Intro. to Creative Writing class, I feel that my writing is too simple and I'm not very good at describing details or creating interesting characters and settings. In Journalism, I struggle with getting all the details into short, article form. I sometimes forget to answer the simple questions within the news stories I write. And in Restoration and 18th Century Literature, it's difficult for me to read every single story or poem for the next day when I have papers and articles due in the other classes. Poor, Dr. Tate. I spoke up so much in class at the beginning of the semester, when I actually read for class and answered questions. My voice is now fading out.

I'm beating myself up so much about these classes because they're a part of my major and I want to do well in them. Not to mention, I'm considering a journalism job or an editing job after college, so these classes are crucial for me. I know that in order for me to learn, I have to stretch my abilities and struggle in order to grow. But knowing and understanding this concept doesn't make it any easier to go through.

I was talking to Bria the other night and I told her, "Man, I feel no peace whatsoever." And she said something along the lines of, "What do you mean by 'peace'? You know that having peace doesn't mean things are going to be easy, right?"

And, yes, that sounds like a given, but that statement truly stopped me in my tracks. Because she was right. Here I was, fighting for the things I truly wanted to do well in and constantly being pushed day after day. It was hard to remember in the midst of it all that 1. In order for me to grow, I have to go through hard times and 2. Having peace and rest in the Lord doesn't mean that life is easy and perfect.

After hearing what Bria had to say on the matter, I longed for peace within the storm. I asked the Lord to help me rely on Him through this difficult time of me being challenged in areas I'm not really confident in. Of course, just because I prayed that prayer doesn't mean that I'll automatically be given peace, but I will be given more opportunities to trust that God will allow me that peace during my struggles.

It's kind of scary to think that the only way I'll be able to grow past who I am now is to face some challenges. But if I continue to give my worries to God and trust in Him (which is NOT EASY by any means!), I will be able to stand in the storm and be confident that, even though things in my life are hectic and not going the way I want them to, I have Jesus as my Solid Rock, who will give me the strength to get through it all.

If you're going through some rough times and everything seems completely hopeless and you feel like you can fight no longer, know that Jesus wants to fight for you. He is waiting for you to come to Him with all your troubles and worries and say, "Here they are, Lord. I can't do this alone. I give them all to You and trust that Your will will be done and that You are with me and not against me."

My heart is so full of joy just constantly being reminded that we never have to walk through this rough life alone. I say it so many times to people, I'll write it a million times on this blog, but when situations come into my own life, I'll admit that I lose sight of the Truth. But Jesus is so much BIGGER than my forgetfulness. He is so patient with me, showing me mercy as He reminds me over and over again how great His love is for me. 

My brothers and sisters in Christ, Jesus is bigger than the struggles, challenges, and rough spots in your life. I know we're told this over and over, but sometimes, we need to be reminded. I pray that whatever you're going through that you'll be reminded and encouraged that Jesus is with you. That He is willing to take the burdens you have. He took the biggest burdens - the sins of the entire world - on the cross at Calvary and defeated them all so you don't have to pay the consequences for them. So you don't have to walk this fallen, depraved, difficult world alone.

"Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light." -Matthew 11:28-30

Ahh, sweet Jesus. I am so foolish, constantly straying from Him. And yet, He patiently leads me back to Him.

" ' I have said these things to you in figures of speech. The hour is coming when I will no longer speak to you in figures of speech but will tell you plainly about the Father. In that day you will ask in My Name, and I do not say to you that I will ask the Father on your behalf; for the Father himself loves you, because you have loved Me and have believed that I came from God. I came from the Father and have come into the world, and now I am leaving the world and going to the Father.' 

"His disciples said, 'Ah, now you are speaking plainly and not using figurative speech! Now we know that you know all things and do not need anyone to question You; this is why we believe that You came from God.'

"Jesus answered them, 'Do you now believe? Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave Me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with Me. I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. in the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.' " - John 16:25-33

Praying for each and every one of you! God bless you all!

#luvya
~ Mishy. (^^) <3

Grateful

It's about 2am in good ole California, but after reading Bria's blog post tonight about "Spontaneity," I just HAD to write a blog post too haha. (BTW, my bestie Bria now has a BLOG called "Sporadicalness"! You should definitely check it out! Just click HERE!)

But anyways, back to the subject at hand...

I am just so grateful.

Bria and I have been texting back and forth these past few weeks since I've been out of town, and we've talked about all sorts of things. But we both agreed that we're just SO EXCITED about this time in our lives, where lots of things are just going great. Not everything, mind you, but LOTS OF THINGS! (^^)

Summertime, getting jobs, having best friends, and great KPOP bands having comebacks were just a few awesome things that we were excited about. Seriously, I am just so PUMPED about ALMOST EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. God has given me so much that I'm grateful for.

Today was just perfect. I recently started learning how to crochet, but got frustrated the first time I attempted it. But today, I picked up that yarn and that J hook, pulled up Youtube, and roughly got through about 5-6 steps on how to make this beanie. And I am so grateful for that!

My cousin Tyler and his fiancee Dani came over and we just sat outside talking as Tyler shot soda cans, water bottles, and this target that my aunt drew on a piece of wood. The weather was perfect, not too hot and not too cold.

And we ended the day with a great fire and s'mores! :) One of the best summer treats EVER!

Did I mention that I was grateful? LOL

God has just given me so much every day, and rarely do I ever give thanks for it. He's given me a great family, one that spreads across from coast-to-coast; great friends, who sprinkle throughout the country; a great school to go to; awesome clothes to wear; other great material possessions; salvation through His Son's death...there's just so much to name that my brain can't even process it all this late at night :P

But yeah...I'm just grateful. And I encourage you to take some time out of your day to stop listening to music, watching TV, or whatever you usually do during the summer and just sit in silence and think about how much God has given you. And to tell Him, "Thank You, Lord."

I'm sure there are some of y'all who are hurting right now, some who have actually lost some thing or someone dear to them. But despite your loss, I know that there are things that God has blessed you with that maybe some people don't have on a day-to-day basis. I understand, there are things you wish for, hope for...but maybe it's time to thank God for the things and people you do have right now; the things and people that could be taken away from you at any second.

Just a late-night thought. I'm hoping it make sense because, despite my proofreading this before I post it, it's still 2am, and I am TIRED.

I'm praying for you all! Hope you're enjoying your summer so far!!! (^^)

LOVE Y'ALL!
*~.Mishy.~* (^^) <3