Y'all...today was...SMH.
I feel like I write more about the happier times in my life than I do the hard ones. So here's a hard-knock life post for ya...
Let me be real honest: this week hasn't been the best. It's been a little more stressful, the weather has been weird (like, burning hot one minute, and then pouring rain the next), work has been kinda blah, and my sister's car has been having issues starting up a few times in the past few days.
Today took the cake tho.
Kae'sha and I went to work as usual...and as usual (at least for the past two days or so), her car didn't start up in the parking lot during our lunch break. It took about twenty minutes, and finally, it started, and we bolted out of there like there was no tomorrow.
We ate so fast. Kae'sha had three pieces of toast. I ate two pieces of provolone cheese smashed between two pieces of plain white bread and drank all of the water in my water bottle (didn't have time to fill it up afterwards either).
We were supposed to check on some cats we've been taking care of for a neighbor, but we didn't have time, nor did we think that Kae'sha's car was reliable enough for us to use to get there and back. But we scrambled to her car, with high hopes that it would start right up so we could drive back to work.
It didn't.
And we didn't have time to sit in the car and wait for it to decide when it was going to start up. We had to find a ride to work right then.
And, honestly, I was frantic. I didn't want to be late to work. The frustration was settling in. Kae'sha and I called Grandpa to find some form of transportation and we called our supervisor to let him know that we may be a little late coming back from lunch.
We tried Grandpa's car...couldn't find the right key. So, we grabbed a key and walked all the way to a family friend's house (up this STEEP-STEEP-hill), to use their car...only...we had the key to the wrong car.
So, we had only one option...we had to walk.
I mean, it wasn't too far...but when it's already 1pm and it's still maybe a 10-20 minute walk, depending on where you're going on the campus, and it's hot as crap outside...not to mention you're frustrated, emotionally exhausted...
...yeah, I was fed up. Today was rough.
Obviously, we made it to work eventually. One of my supervisors, Amanda, fed me Wint-O-Green lifesavers until I could forget my horrible experience. According to Kae'sha, it started raining after I'd reached my destination and gone inside. And another supervisor, Miss Sandy, drove us back home after work.
So the day ended pretty okay.
When I was in the midst of it all though, I could feel the weight of everything just crashing on me. I know that sounds dramatic, but it's what I was feeling at the moment.
But really, this was the first time in a long time that I'd been through a day as frustrating as this. And we all have to go through days like this in life.
And of course, when Miss Sandy came over to look at the car, it started right up. Why? Because that's how life is, LOL.
See, now that I've gotten through my rough time today, I can kind of laugh about it. I mean, sorta. I'm kinda tired from walking and working...and lack of sleep...
I'm kind of rambling right now to you all, haha, hope you don't mind!
Anyways, I guess the moral of this little summer adventure/nightmare is that we all go through hard times...they'll come and go. But they will end. And they aren't as big as they seem. And we need to take time to recover from them. For instance, I'm recovering from my rough day by working on tha blog (yes, this blog, this post, and actually another post that's on the way tomorrow! :D), listening to my favorite music, and texting my best friend.
Soon, I'm gonna get some cookies and milk. Mmmm, recovery snack!
Well, I should probably do something about that lack of sleep I'm having...good night all! Sweet dreams!
luv ya!
*~.Mishy.~* (^^) <3
Showing posts with label Late-night thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Late-night thoughts. Show all posts
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Monday, July 29, 2013
Silence is Deadly
What is this...
Why do all the best topics for me to blog about burst into my mind past midnight? It's the curse of a writer, I swear...
And I don't know about you...
But when I hear the phrase, "Silence is deadly," it just reminds me of those old Nickelodeon commercials that talked about the different types of farts (ones that were done out loud but didn't smell and the "silent but deadly" ones...) Yeah the phrases aren't exactly the same but whatever...I digress...
On to the important stuff.
Lately, I'm realizing how much me being silent is hurting other people, and myself. I've been in some situations in the past and even recently where some things shouldn't have been done, and I knew I had to say something in order for those things to stop.
But I was too afraid to say anything. I was scared of losing a friendship or what could have been a potential boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. So, I kept my mouth shut. And later, I paid the consequences for that and ended up losing the friendship anyway. So, being silent about what's going on with the person it's going on with is deadly for the obvious reasons: you'll get hurt in the process and/or so will the other person and your relationship will never be the same. There could also be extended, maybe even life-long consequences because you didn't speak up when you should have.
And, trust me, if you don't remember that Jesus carries your burden for you, the consequences can be a deep burden. Just the memories and flashbacks of what you did and what you could have done or said hurt enough. By God's grace, we don't have to deal with the burden of that hurt.
Also, it's not just being silent to the exact person that's deadly...being silent to those who care about you such as friends and family is also very dangerous. I struggled so much last school year with telling my family and friends exactly what's going on with me, whether it's a friendship with someone or some certain situations that occurred, and even now I still struggle with it.
But once I've built up the courage to tell the people closest to me exactly what's going on, I feel so much better. Because they don't judge me if I've made mistakes, but encourage me and pray for me if they know I have to take more steps in dealing with a certain friendship or situation. And knowing that there are people praying for me makes me feel more confident in what I have to do.
Even now, I am praying and lying in wait for a conversation I'm going to have to have with someone close to me. Am I still afraid of losing the friendship? Yes. I know that things will change: feelings might be hurt and space and boundaries will be placed. And I'm not exactly sure how it will all end. But I do know that even if things do end, God is still faithful. Maybe that friendship I had needed to end forever. Maybe it will end for a time and begin again, stronger than it ever was. Maybe it will continue and grow into something better later on. Who knows? Only God. And that means God is the only One I should have complete faith in when dealing with these types of things.
As I approach this time in prayer, I also pray for those of you who are struggling through the same thing. I encourage you to speak up and not be silent. Pray that God will give you the strength to say something.
I know: telling someone close to you what's going on and asking for advice may feel embarrassing or "weak". But I can't tell you how great I feel after I do tell someone close to me what's going on.
Wow. A couple of days ago, these thoughts wouldn't have made sense. Heck, this morning all of this wouldn't have made sense.
And it just leads me to say this again: it's crazy how thoughts and things come together so well after midnight...
Why do all the best topics for me to blog about burst into my mind past midnight? It's the curse of a writer, I swear...
And I don't know about you...
But when I hear the phrase, "Silence is deadly," it just reminds me of those old Nickelodeon commercials that talked about the different types of farts (ones that were done out loud but didn't smell and the "silent but deadly" ones...) Yeah the phrases aren't exactly the same but whatever...I digress...
On to the important stuff.
Lately, I'm realizing how much me being silent is hurting other people, and myself. I've been in some situations in the past and even recently where some things shouldn't have been done, and I knew I had to say something in order for those things to stop.
But I was too afraid to say anything. I was scared of losing a friendship or what could have been a potential boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. So, I kept my mouth shut. And later, I paid the consequences for that and ended up losing the friendship anyway. So, being silent about what's going on with the person it's going on with is deadly for the obvious reasons: you'll get hurt in the process and/or so will the other person and your relationship will never be the same. There could also be extended, maybe even life-long consequences because you didn't speak up when you should have.
And, trust me, if you don't remember that Jesus carries your burden for you, the consequences can be a deep burden. Just the memories and flashbacks of what you did and what you could have done or said hurt enough. By God's grace, we don't have to deal with the burden of that hurt.
Also, it's not just being silent to the exact person that's deadly...being silent to those who care about you such as friends and family is also very dangerous. I struggled so much last school year with telling my family and friends exactly what's going on with me, whether it's a friendship with someone or some certain situations that occurred, and even now I still struggle with it.
But once I've built up the courage to tell the people closest to me exactly what's going on, I feel so much better. Because they don't judge me if I've made mistakes, but encourage me and pray for me if they know I have to take more steps in dealing with a certain friendship or situation. And knowing that there are people praying for me makes me feel more confident in what I have to do.
Even now, I am praying and lying in wait for a conversation I'm going to have to have with someone close to me. Am I still afraid of losing the friendship? Yes. I know that things will change: feelings might be hurt and space and boundaries will be placed. And I'm not exactly sure how it will all end. But I do know that even if things do end, God is still faithful. Maybe that friendship I had needed to end forever. Maybe it will end for a time and begin again, stronger than it ever was. Maybe it will continue and grow into something better later on. Who knows? Only God. And that means God is the only One I should have complete faith in when dealing with these types of things.
As I approach this time in prayer, I also pray for those of you who are struggling through the same thing. I encourage you to speak up and not be silent. Pray that God will give you the strength to say something.
I know: telling someone close to you what's going on and asking for advice may feel embarrassing or "weak". But I can't tell you how great I feel after I do tell someone close to me what's going on.
Wow. A couple of days ago, these thoughts wouldn't have made sense. Heck, this morning all of this wouldn't have made sense.
And it just leads me to say this again: it's crazy how thoughts and things come together so well after midnight...
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Grateful
It's about 2am in good ole California, but after reading Bria's blog post tonight about "Spontaneity," I just HAD to write a blog post too haha. (BTW, my bestie Bria now has a BLOG called "Sporadicalness"! You should definitely check it out! Just click HERE!)
But anyways, back to the subject at hand...
I am just so grateful.
Bria and I have been texting back and forth these past few weeks since I've been out of town, and we've talked about all sorts of things. But we both agreed that we're just SO EXCITED about this time in our lives, where lots of things are just going great. Not everything, mind you, but LOTS OF THINGS! (^^)
Summertime, getting jobs, having best friends, and great KPOP bands having comebacks were just a few awesome things that we were excited about. Seriously, I am just so PUMPED about ALMOST EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. God has given me so much that I'm grateful for.
Today was just perfect. I recently started learning how to crochet, but got frustrated the first time I attempted it. But today, I picked up that yarn and that J hook, pulled up Youtube, and roughly got through about 5-6 steps on how to make this beanie. And I am so grateful for that!
My cousin Tyler and his fiancee Dani came over and we just sat outside talking as Tyler shot soda cans, water bottles, and this target that my aunt drew on a piece of wood. The weather was perfect, not too hot and not too cold.
And we ended the day with a great fire and s'mores! :) One of the best summer treats EVER!
Did I mention that I was grateful? LOL
God has just given me so much every day, and rarely do I ever give thanks for it. He's given me a great family, one that spreads across from coast-to-coast; great friends, who sprinkle throughout the country; a great school to go to; awesome clothes to wear; other great material possessions; salvation through His Son's death...there's just so much to name that my brain can't even process it all this late at night :P
But yeah...I'm just grateful. And I encourage you to take some time out of your day to stop listening to music, watching TV, or whatever you usually do during the summer and just sit in silence and think about how much God has given you. And to tell Him, "Thank You, Lord."
I'm sure there are some of y'all who are hurting right now, some who have actually lost some thing or someone dear to them. But despite your loss, I know that there are things that God has blessed you with that maybe some people don't have on a day-to-day basis. I understand, there are things you wish for, hope for...but maybe it's time to thank God for the things and people you do have right now; the things and people that could be taken away from you at any second.
Just a late-night thought. I'm hoping it make sense because, despite my proofreading this before I post it, it's still 2am, and I am TIRED.
I'm praying for you all! Hope you're enjoying your summer so far!!! (^^)
LOVE Y'ALL!
*~.Mishy.~* (^^) <3
But anyways, back to the subject at hand...
I am just so grateful.
Bria and I have been texting back and forth these past few weeks since I've been out of town, and we've talked about all sorts of things. But we both agreed that we're just SO EXCITED about this time in our lives, where lots of things are just going great. Not everything, mind you, but LOTS OF THINGS! (^^)
Summertime, getting jobs, having best friends, and great KPOP bands having comebacks were just a few awesome things that we were excited about. Seriously, I am just so PUMPED about ALMOST EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. God has given me so much that I'm grateful for.
Today was just perfect. I recently started learning how to crochet, but got frustrated the first time I attempted it. But today, I picked up that yarn and that J hook, pulled up Youtube, and roughly got through about 5-6 steps on how to make this beanie. And I am so grateful for that!
My cousin Tyler and his fiancee Dani came over and we just sat outside talking as Tyler shot soda cans, water bottles, and this target that my aunt drew on a piece of wood. The weather was perfect, not too hot and not too cold.
And we ended the day with a great fire and s'mores! :) One of the best summer treats EVER!
Did I mention that I was grateful? LOL
God has just given me so much every day, and rarely do I ever give thanks for it. He's given me a great family, one that spreads across from coast-to-coast; great friends, who sprinkle throughout the country; a great school to go to; awesome clothes to wear; other great material possessions; salvation through His Son's death...there's just so much to name that my brain can't even process it all this late at night :P
But yeah...I'm just grateful. And I encourage you to take some time out of your day to stop listening to music, watching TV, or whatever you usually do during the summer and just sit in silence and think about how much God has given you. And to tell Him, "Thank You, Lord."
I'm sure there are some of y'all who are hurting right now, some who have actually lost some thing or someone dear to them. But despite your loss, I know that there are things that God has blessed you with that maybe some people don't have on a day-to-day basis. I understand, there are things you wish for, hope for...but maybe it's time to thank God for the things and people you do have right now; the things and people that could be taken away from you at any second.
Just a late-night thought. I'm hoping it make sense because, despite my proofreading this before I post it, it's still 2am, and I am TIRED.
I'm praying for you all! Hope you're enjoying your summer so far!!! (^^)
LOVE Y'ALL!
*~.Mishy.~* (^^) <3
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