Fall Break

I'm sitting in my dorm room, trying to put some music on my phone so I can make some space (storage probz, it's a struggle!) I'm also listening to some great KPOP music I hadn't heard in a while (like Royal Pirates. Aww man, I've missed them so much! Reminds me of spring semester of sophomore year!)

Hopefully, after this I can get some other work done...like homework.

I'm not going to say that I haven't been productive. I mean, I've watched some movies we've been meaning to watch for weeks, and I've been doing some great relaxing. I have started on my homework a little bit, and while I'm waiting on Bria to get ready, I'm trying to do what I can while I'm on campus.

So, I returned some work keys that I should have returned before the summer was over and I found my lost pea coat (an essential for this fall weather coming in). And now, I'm blogging and I'll probably look at some internships while I'm at it. I do need to go to my grandparent's house today though, so I can feed the cats I'm pet-sitting over the break and get some homework done so we can possibly go thrifting today.

Honestly, I'm pretty positive that I won't get all the things I wanted to get done on fall break done. I thought four days would be enough time, but I'm starting to see the time slip away. 

But I just wanted to write in here to let you all know that I'm still alive haha. This semester is flying by so quickly! October is more than halfway over, and before I know it Thanksgiving break will be here. SO CRAZY.

Also, I wanted to let y'all know that Bria and I have an idea that we're thinking about putting into action soon. We may have to wait until next semester so we could work things out during our Christmas break, but I'm hoping maybe we can get this idea going before then. We'll see. But I'm asking that you pray for us as we try to work this thing out. 

I hope those of you on fall break are having a relaxing time! And if you're in school or work today, I pray the Lord gives you strength and motivation to do your best in whatever you've got going on today!

Love you all! I'll be here again, hopefully sooner than Thanksgiving break!

luv ya!
Mishy (^^)

WHOA. - An Update + My Main Focus for My Junior Year of College.

So, this past week has been pure CHAOS. Beautiful, time-consuming chaos.

Last Friday was my last time working at in the Facilities department at my school. It was a great day. I definitely miss the people I work with, but thankfully most of them go to school with me and live on campus so that's awesome!

I moved in that Sunday night and setup my side of the room because the next day I started O-Team (Orientation Team) training. It's been an exhausting week, but it's also been filled with excitement! I've gone to meetings, met up with my Core Team, gone out to eat, planned things, helped move new students on campus in, etc.

Even though I've been so busy with everything going on at my school, I've been so amazed at how awesome it all has been. Already I can see God working in the lives of the leaders, the new students and their families, the entire campus really. And it is so wonderful!

All of that is seriously the tip of the iceberg. There is so much that I've learned within this past week that I'd love to write about and tell you all about, but I can't really explain it all. To be honest, I haven't really processed it all. 

There is however, a main theme I'm focusing on this year that I wanna share with y'all...and that is LOVE.

We see it everywhere, whether it's among family, friends, couples, etc. But I wanna focus on love within the body of Christ. Right now, especially, on my college campus. I have witnessed and have been an example of so much judgment, ostracism, and dislike toward one another. And yet we say we are the body of Christ and that we are brothers and sisters in Christ.

I'm definitely not saying that we can't have different likes and interests, but we shouldn't have hatred toward each other just because someone dresses differently, has different music tastes, lives in a certain building, or hangs out with a certain group of people. I've been thinking a lot about how much I, myself, have judged people around me. And yet, I don't want to be judged by anyone else.

And so, I am praying that the Lord just guides me in loving the people around me more. I know it's going to be super hard and I'm going to be presented with more opportunities to learn to love. But I am also praying that the Lord prepares my heart for those opportunities. 

I am SO EXCITED for this year, guys. Like you have no idea! 

I hope you all are doing well! So sorry I haven't been present lately! I know some of you have already started school again and some of you are starting soon. I start this upcoming Thursday! Ahh, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that! But I'll be praying that the Lord keeps you as you start school and that He would just show you what areas you need to grow in to become more like Him!

I love you all! I'll talk to you soon, hopefully!

luv ya!

~ Mishy. <3

P.S. My REVAMP posts will be on hiatus for the school year (my friends and I have gotten most of the things we've needed to complete our revamps) UNLESS someone wants to email me their own personal revamp, I'm totally willing to post it during the year! :D 

7 Weeks...

Well. Spring break is officially OVER.

We drove back to the mountain yesterday. We all took turns driving. I got the last leg to campus. But we made a stop at Mojo Burrito for some dinner since the meal plan doesn't start until tomorrow morning's breakfast. :/

Anyways, today's been really good, but hectic. Church was amazing. It was definitely something I had to hear. Pastor Ritchie was away at a youth conference, so a children's ministry pastor named Billy Cimino preached instead. We talked about David and Bathsheba. Of course, it's one of those sermons you think to yourself, I've heard this a thousand times, I'm pretty sure I get it by now. But I learned so much still. One thing Pastor Billy said that stuck to me was, "We are always students, never scholars when it comes to the Bible."

He went on to explain that we will never be able to close the Bible and say, "I've got it all figured out and I know everything the Bible has to teach about." We're constantly learning and growing. 

God just gave me immense peace in church. I felt like I was truly able to start over, not just because we had spring break from school, but because we took communion today and we were just reminded of Jesus' sacrifice. My spiritual life has not been the best these past few weeks already, and I know that my focus has been on so many other things than God. My heart is so ready to just be dependent on God, no matter what. Yes, I have a lot of homework to do. Yes, there are extracurricular things such as interviews and conferences to attend. Yes, I'd rather it be summer time already so I can earn money and chill out and not turn in another assignment for a long time.

But I want my heart to be at peace with the fact that God is with me always. That when I cry out to Him, He hears me. I know it doesn't mean things will all of a sudden be easier, but I will have that peace as I go through my daily routine, whatever it is.

So yeah, I'm definitely going to try to remind myself of that. 

The rest of my day consisted of finishing homework, doing laundry, taking care of school business, and finding out what to eat for dinner (which turned out to be ramen. LOL, such a college student thing to eat...). I think in a little bit we're gonna make a Wendy's run, in which case, I'll be gettin' me the six piece spicy chicken nuggets & a small chocolate Frosty. #YUM! ;D

Hopefully, I'll be able to do a little reading, maybe study a little Korean. I just wanted to use a little of my time to catch y'all up on what's been happening and to say that spring break is done.

OH, BEFORE I FORGET...

Caylin posted our spring break video on her YouTube channel! If ya wanna check out how our week in Bainbridge went, click on the link below! (btw, the video is called "Meet the Crew" not "Spring Break" or anything like that!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfuJClUDV1A

Ahh, spring break was so great!

Anyways, you're probably wondering why I titled this post "7 Weeks...". Well, it's because there's 7 weeks of school left! And I am so ready for SUMMER! But I won't wish away the rest of this time. Sure, it's gonna be tough, but I'm thankful to spend this time with people I love, like Taylor, Bria, and Caylin.

So, I gotta go fold my laundry! I hope everyone has a great week! To those going to school tomorrow like me, GOD KNOWS YOUR HEART AND WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.  He knows that you're tired and frustrated. He knows that you just want to do your best, get good grades, get the job and go on summer break. He knows. Trust that He hears you, and be dependent on Him! :)

If you're on spring break right now, drink a cherry Coke in my honor! Have an amazing, relaxing week! :D

#luvya!
~ Mishy. (^^) <3

Updates, Announcements, and Encouragement

Hello out there!

First, let me start by apologizing for the title of this post. It's so boring and unappealing, I wouldn't have blamed you for skipping out on reading this one and demanding something with more substance. But it's been over a month since I've been on, and small updates, a spring break announcement, and a bit of encouragement are all I have for right now. Forgive me! My schedule is so demanding this semester that I gotta stay on top of things!

Again, so sorry for the title and for being so silent lately, but ya know, college is college and it seeks to completely take over my life.

These past couple of weeks have been more hectic than usual because of all the snow days we've had. Snow days are all fun and games until you get back to classes the week after and realize you're going to have two tests back-to-back and then next week you're going to have three papers due within two days.

Yeah, that all happened to me. 

Thankfully though, I am passed all of that. I can slightly breathe a sigh of relief and kick my feet up for like five seconds before I have to start another assignment. And school's not the only thing I have to worry about. I've had to deal with summer employment applications for my school and call the jury office this week or I would be required to show up for jury duty next week.

Yes, I was summoned for jury duty a few weeks back. It's now been pushed back for the summer time, thankfully. It still seems really surreal that I have to actually sit in a courtroom and listen in on a case. So crazy.

I am SO PUMPED for spring break though. The end of last week and the weekend displayed springtime weather, encouraging all of campus that spring was definitely either on its way or here. Shorts, t-shirts, tanks, and flip flops appeared all over campus. Sadly, the cold weather has returned :( But, this weekend it's supposed to heat back up again, and I'm hoping that means the warm weather is here to stay!

So, about that spring break announcement...where will tha SHAWTIES (aka Bria, Caylin, Taylor, and I) be going for our spring break adventure this year? 

Drum roll, please...

*BAINBRIDGE, GEORGIA*

Okay, most of you probably don't even know where that is, but it's Caylin's hometown! :D And we'll also be taking a day trip to Tallahassee, Florida to go to the beach! SO EXCITED! And this year, Taylor will be able to come with us! It's definitely gonna be a SHAWTY SPRING BREAK  for the books!

Caylin was taking orders on what type of food we wanted during spring break. Just hearing what we'll be eating and making plans to read, write, and accomplish different projects is making me even more antsy for spring break. I'm ready to kick my feet up for more than five seconds and embrace the time we have away from work and class.

So, about that encouragement...lemme say this...

To be completely honest, y'all, I've been struggling so much to stay motivated and to truly rest in the Lord. Every day, something different demands my attention: school, work, outside business (such as jury duty or US Census Bureau papers), friends, and the list goes on and on.

I've been really discouraged in my writing lately. I'm taking three English courses at the same time (and I sometimes ask myself, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"), each of them teaching different styles of writing. In my Intro. to Creative Writing class, I feel that my writing is too simple and I'm not very good at describing details or creating interesting characters and settings. In Journalism, I struggle with getting all the details into short, article form. I sometimes forget to answer the simple questions within the news stories I write. And in Restoration and 18th Century Literature, it's difficult for me to read every single story or poem for the next day when I have papers and articles due in the other classes. Poor, Dr. Tate. I spoke up so much in class at the beginning of the semester, when I actually read for class and answered questions. My voice is now fading out.

I'm beating myself up so much about these classes because they're a part of my major and I want to do well in them. Not to mention, I'm considering a journalism job or an editing job after college, so these classes are crucial for me. I know that in order for me to learn, I have to stretch my abilities and struggle in order to grow. But knowing and understanding this concept doesn't make it any easier to go through.

I was talking to Bria the other night and I told her, "Man, I feel no peace whatsoever." And she said something along the lines of, "What do you mean by 'peace'? You know that having peace doesn't mean things are going to be easy, right?"

And, yes, that sounds like a given, but that statement truly stopped me in my tracks. Because she was right. Here I was, fighting for the things I truly wanted to do well in and constantly being pushed day after day. It was hard to remember in the midst of it all that 1. In order for me to grow, I have to go through hard times and 2. Having peace and rest in the Lord doesn't mean that life is easy and perfect.

After hearing what Bria had to say on the matter, I longed for peace within the storm. I asked the Lord to help me rely on Him through this difficult time of me being challenged in areas I'm not really confident in. Of course, just because I prayed that prayer doesn't mean that I'll automatically be given peace, but I will be given more opportunities to trust that God will allow me that peace during my struggles.

It's kind of scary to think that the only way I'll be able to grow past who I am now is to face some challenges. But if I continue to give my worries to God and trust in Him (which is NOT EASY by any means!), I will be able to stand in the storm and be confident that, even though things in my life are hectic and not going the way I want them to, I have Jesus as my Solid Rock, who will give me the strength to get through it all.

If you're going through some rough times and everything seems completely hopeless and you feel like you can fight no longer, know that Jesus wants to fight for you. He is waiting for you to come to Him with all your troubles and worries and say, "Here they are, Lord. I can't do this alone. I give them all to You and trust that Your will will be done and that You are with me and not against me."

My heart is so full of joy just constantly being reminded that we never have to walk through this rough life alone. I say it so many times to people, I'll write it a million times on this blog, but when situations come into my own life, I'll admit that I lose sight of the Truth. But Jesus is so much BIGGER than my forgetfulness. He is so patient with me, showing me mercy as He reminds me over and over again how great His love is for me. 

My brothers and sisters in Christ, Jesus is bigger than the struggles, challenges, and rough spots in your life. I know we're told this over and over, but sometimes, we need to be reminded. I pray that whatever you're going through that you'll be reminded and encouraged that Jesus is with you. That He is willing to take the burdens you have. He took the biggest burdens - the sins of the entire world - on the cross at Calvary and defeated them all so you don't have to pay the consequences for them. So you don't have to walk this fallen, depraved, difficult world alone.

"Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light." -Matthew 11:28-30

Ahh, sweet Jesus. I am so foolish, constantly straying from Him. And yet, He patiently leads me back to Him.

" ' I have said these things to you in figures of speech. The hour is coming when I will no longer speak to you in figures of speech but will tell you plainly about the Father. In that day you will ask in My Name, and I do not say to you that I will ask the Father on your behalf; for the Father himself loves you, because you have loved Me and have believed that I came from God. I came from the Father and have come into the world, and now I am leaving the world and going to the Father.' 

"His disciples said, 'Ah, now you are speaking plainly and not using figurative speech! Now we know that you know all things and do not need anyone to question You; this is why we believe that You came from God.'

"Jesus answered them, 'Do you now believe? Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave Me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with Me. I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. in the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.' " - John 16:25-33

Praying for each and every one of you! God bless you all!

#luvya
~ Mishy. (^^) <3

A New Semester, A New Me

Helloooooo, everyone! 

Well, I officially finished the first week of second semester, sophomore year! :D It wasn't too bad. Of course, it's only the first week, so for the first couple of days the professors just went over the syllabi and the introductions of the class. I did have a bit of homework, but overall not too shabby.

LOL, for all those KPOP lovers who read my last post, I have gotten over the HUGE amount of fan-girling I did over EXO. They're still my favorite KPOP group, of course! (^^) I actually just finished watching episode 8 of EXO Showtime. But I'm DEFINITELY NOT going to be an EXO-STAN...I don't want to be a "stalker-fan". I'd rather just love from a distance. <3

Anyways, I'm just gonna share with y'all how I'm planning on bettering myself this semester.

Organize.

Yep. After getting all of my syllabi, I took some time, a calendar, and some colorful pens and filled out all the dates when important stuff like tests and papers was due. I actually even gave myself a 1-2 week warning to start thinking about certain things before they were due. I even jumped ahead and picked out a couple of books from the library that I needed for some book reviews that will soon be coming up. 

I am really excited about keeping up on all my assignments this semester, and I'm hoping this system works out for me.

Hittin' tha GYM.

I am ready to get back on track with working out. I did so well with my workout schedule last summer, and I totally slacked off last semester. It's so pathetic that I've pushed myself back on weights, and my abs are sore as crap right now from working them yesterday. 

I'm really happy that I'm able to workout with at least one of my friends at some point during the week (well, so far). It really motivates me to have someone with me. 

I plan on working out every day except for Fridays and Sundays since my body needs to rest at some point. Hopefully I won't get too busy during the semester that I'll have to stop going to the gym to study more.

My Attitude

I realized how crappy my attitude was last semester. And really, a lot of it was my fault. I misunderstood people's actions and motives, and honestly, I felt like I deserved to be an angry little rain cloud for once. I took on bitterness, and it became my constant attitude. And it sucked. Not just for me, but for the people surrounding me. And I am still regretting that I wasted so much time in that state of mind, and that I treated people the way I did for all those months. 

It wasn't right. And I am deeply sorry for all the hurt I caused.

So, this semester, I'm going to really ask the Lord to give me patience and to prohibit me from going down that road of bitterness again. So far, my attitude has been great. I can feel my normal positiveness returning to me, and I genuinely have more joy. And that makes me even more joyful to think that God's been merciful to me to give me this joy again, despite my poor attitude last semester. So humbled and so grateful.

And Some Things I'm Looking Forward To

1. So, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how God is going to work in me and my friends and even through our campus. I'm eager to see what kind of growth will happen spiritually and socially. 
2. SPRING BREAK!!!! I'm definitely looking forward to that! :D
3. And I don't know about any of y'all, but a new year also means NEW MUSIC from ALL TYPES OF ARTISTS AND BANDS! :D I've heard that Pierce the Veil is working on some new material (and still trying to build a studio from the ground up in San Diego! That's pretty awesome.) 

Branching off of that: my beloved, fellow KPOP lovers! Aren't we ALL excited for the AMAZING COMEBACKS this year? I mean, B.A.P, BIGBANG, 2NE1, EXO, B1A4, and the list goes on! \(^^)/

And already, I've gotten into this group called Royal Pirates. They just released their first mini album 2 days ago called Drawing the Line and I LOVE IT. :D I actually found out about them through f(x)'s Amber's Instagram video she posted about watching their MV and literally drawing a line on a dry-erase board LOL. Y'all should definitely check them out!

So, yes. Here we are. Spring semester! And I've already gone to a dance party. Just got back, actually. And if you read my tweets on the side of my blog (they're on the right side! Stop by my Twitter and follow me! I'll follow back! :) ), then you would have seen that I enjoyed myself quite a bit. 

I mean, coming out of a dance party with a knee that's barely functioning, a throat that's sore and hoarse from the cold air, and your ears slightly damaged due to the loud music is a SURE SIGN that it was definitely a dance party to be at LOL.

Well, I hope you all are doing well! Do you have anything you're going to change this year, this semester? Are there any ways I can be praying for you as you try to make these changes? Shoot me an email! (Look to the right and you'll see the "Contact Me!" ..."slot", I guess? I don't know what you'd call it haha) Your email doesn't have to be super detailed with your last name and everything that's going on in your life. Just a simple, "Hey, I need prayer because I want to try to change in..." whatever.

Whether you email me or not, though, I am praying for you all! Don't let school or work get you down! You can do it through Christ's strength! Rely on Him and He will help you conquer!!! :)

Have an AMAZING weekend, y'all! I'm gonna go take a shower and see what I can do about this sore throat and the pain in my knee! No working out for me tomorrow, that's for sure!

#luvya!
*~.Mishy.~* (^^) <3

Fall 2013 & Christmas Break!

Guys! I got through the first semester of sophomore year!!!!

And, yes, that's a BIG DEAL!!!!!

*****(to clarify, it's been about a weeks since finals ended and I packed all my stuff and headed to my grandparents' house for Christmas break!)

I can't even begin to explain what a struggle this past semester has been for me academically, socially, and spiritually. It's by God's grace alone that I can stand here and, somewhat, hold my head up high.

I say "somewhat" because I'm not proud of the way things went this semester. Sometimes the things I said and did were just not like me, and despite my plans to be disciplined this semester, there were times I chose to procrastinate instead of do what I needed to. I can say this: circumstances that happened during the summer time and even things during the semester have definitely changed me and the way I view things and people.

Nothing TRAGIC happened, but events effected me and my thinking, even though I didn't want them to. The people, atmosphere, and circumstances began to change around me, and as a result, I became hard-hearted to a certain degree. Even if I was having a good day, it wasn't even a straight-up good day...it was a somewhat good day. Most of the time I could constantly feel a rain cloud hovering over me. Even if I got an A in a test, something socially would bring me down. 

I was in a sad state. I hate to admit that I spent three-and-a-half months like this, but I did. And how could I stay like this for so long? Well, like I said, things changing around me sort of helped me stay like this. One thing I don't really like is change, but I know I have to, well, change that. Because things are always going to change. 

Lately, I've been trying to get used to the fact that sometimes, traditions can't always happen every year. Sometimes, things change: the weather is too hot/rainy, people move away and are unable to travel to where you normally see one another, etc. So, I'm getting there.

So, things changing aided me into my little "rain cloud state." But that wasn't the only thing. My broken prayer life really effected the way I thought and the decisions I made. Because I didn't tell my friends anything regarding some things that were happening in my life my freshman year of college, I felt that I always had to tell them what was up and always ask for their advice about practically everything.

Which resulted in many different opinions being thrown at me, and I had no clue who I should listen to. So, I would choose one of my friends' opinions, put my own little twist on it, and did whatever I had to do or say whatever I had to say. And this caused me more stress, increasing the rain cloud state. Because, yes, now I was hearing what my friends had to say, but all of the options weren't what I would normally do, and I wanted to do what I thought was right, but also listen and do what my friends thought was right as well.

The BIGGEST mistake involved in all this is that I didn't pray as much as I used to. I mean, I was getting enough advice, right? With my thoughts plus my friends' opinions, that's enough for me to make the right decisions, right? 

WRONG.

If you don't get anything else from this post, remember this: A HEALTHY PRAYER LIFE IS IMPORTANT!!! Looking back and seeing how my broken prayer life effected the way I lived, I can only shake my head at how stupid I'd been all semester. It is truly humbling to sit there and see, so clearly, a mistake like that. Because I didn't figure that out, but God revealed to me my mistakes from this past semester. 

After this being revealed to me, I burst into tears, and wondered just why God, despite all of my failures this semester and ignoring Him a lot of the time, would graciously show me my mistakes and forgive me of them? I mean, wasn't it just last year I was telling you all to trust God, no matter what, even when things get hard?

Bria and I talked about things and she made a good point: if it was that easy to trust God, we wouldn't need Him to help us with anything. Trusting Him with everything, all the time is a battle, one that is not easily won. And it takes constant prayer and Bible-reading to strengthen my faith and trust in Him. 

So, even though this is a TOTAL GIVEN, I have learned that I am NOT AND NEVER WILL BE perfect, that there will never be a day when I wake up and say, "I FULLY TRUST GOD AND I WILL NEVER STRUGGLE WITH THIS EVER AGAIN! I HAVE REACHED THE END OF THIS BATTLE!"

Psh. Yeah, right. The day that happens is the day when Jesus makes all things NEW. And I have to remind myself of that. But until then, I have to continue to communicate with God and spend time with Him in order for my trust to grow. 

In some ways, I wish that I hadn't gone through this past semester so roughly, but in other ways, I am happy that I did because I've learned and grown so much. It's also sort of a good thing that this semester was so hard for me, because the hardest challenges don't come to those who are weak. They are presented to those who are strong in the Lord. Otherwise, our faith wouldn't be tested and we wouldn't be pushed to grow even more than we think we've grown.

So, yes. Rough semester, tons of lessons learned, lots of growth. Super thankful for it all though!!! :)

And now CHRISTMAS BREAK!!! :D Three weeks of not doing anything!!!! Lately I've been reading, playing computer games, writing, listening to music, and getting acquainted with my new phone. I had a great day with my stepdad yesterday, just driving around to different places, eating, and shopping a little bit. 

Take this time to relax and recover from school and to spend some good time with your family! :) Time goes by so fast and, before you know it, school will be starting back up again! 

Today, my plan is to do the following: play my Nancy Drew game, read, do a little of my Wreck This Journal that I got for Christmas, write a blog post, connect my email to my new phone, text some friends and see how their Christmases went, and stay in yoga pants and a hoodie all day.

So far, I've done 5 of those things. Time to do the rest before the day is done!

luv ya!

*~.Mishy.~* (^^) <3

Sweet Tea #3...Part 1

Okay y'all. So much has happened in my life that I'm going to have to split up this Sweet Tea post into three parts... 

Part 1 is going to consist of the section My Life because, like I said, so much has been happening that this part is going to be pretty long. 

Part 2 will contain Tunes, The Word, and Threads. 

And finally, Part 3 will be about Create!, What I'm Watching, and Here&Now.

All right! Let's get this post going!

My Life (hang on tight! This is gonna be a little lengthy.)

Well, why has it been so long since I've blogged? One word: COLLEGE. But that one word has encompassed so many areas of my life; areas that I've really been struggling with these past few months. Frankly, this semester has been one of the hardest times of my life. 

So, let's go through each part, shall we? And bear with me, it's gonna sound like a lot of complaining within each part, but at the end, I'm gonna show you how good God is.

Spiritually, I've felt just very distant from God. I've had to be reminded that the problem was me because God hasn't gone anywhere. And I've been so convicted by the sermon series that's being taught at my church called War and Peace as we study 1 Samuel. I hadn't read my Bible in a while, so I began reading it again. But even then I felt like I wasn't getting anything out of my reading. Was my spirit just not in it? But why wasn't I? I yearned to be closer to God, to feel His presence and to have that solid trust in Him. Why was I faltering so?

That was another thing. Bria reminded me that just because I couldn't feel anything, didn't mean that God wasn't present and that His Spirit wasn't working within me. It was so hard though, to go day-to-day without being sure that my spiritual life was solid. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to my room and cried and wondered where God was...but then remembered my reminders from my friends and re-asked my question: "God, where am I???"

School-wise it's just been a struggle. I went into this year thinking that I had everything down: that I knew how to study and get things accomplished ahead of time and that I'd finally be able to get to sleep early. Psh. Yeah, right. I completely overestimated my abilities to get through this semester, and let's just say, school is kickin' my butt!!!

I began wanting to minor in art (so right now I'm taking Drawing 1) and it's been a challenge. I've learned a lot of things, and my projects have come back with decent grades. But I just felt exhausted to actually draw. Sure, I was learning the correct rules on how to shade things and have the right value in them. But the more time I spent on my drawing projects, the more frustrated with it I became. I liked art because of the creativity of it, not because of strict rules and guidelines. And yes, I understood that there needed to be rules because we had to get graded somehow, but I didn't want my experiences in art to rely on those rules.

I'm taking my grandpa's General Psychology class, and loving it! Okay, at first, I underestimated how much work I had to put into it, and sorta got it handed to me on the first couple of tests. The third test, though, I got an A+ because I worked harder to obtain it. Now, the test I just took yesterday...we'll see about that one. It came so quickly that I had no time to prepare myself. I actually should be reading some of the psych chapters now instead of blogging. Oh well. It's been a while, and I miss blogging.

My rat project in gen. psych has been a pain in the butt ever since we got assigned those white, furry critters. And, okay, I will admit that it's my fault that I've procrastinated on it. But like I said before, other areas of my life had been sort of crippling too. So, after Grandpa said that all of us were behind on our rat projects, some of us started to take the initiative and finally work on it. And now, especially since it's about a week and a half or two weeks until Thanksgiving Break (and the project is due before Thanksgiving Break), EVERYONE is in the rat lab working on it. More frustration that had piled on top of my art frustration...

THEN I'm taking a U.S. History to 1877 class to fulfill a humanities requirement. I don't even need it for my major and I'm taking it. You'd think it'd be easy, right, since it's U.S. History and ya know, I have kinda lived in America my whole life and have studied this subject before. Y'all. This class is trying to epic-ly fail my life right now. I got a C on the first test and a D on the second. I missed a quiz that cost a pretty good amount of points toward my grade (how? I don't know.) And so now I have an overall average of probably a D or maybe I'm failing the class. I NEED a C. So, I had to meet with my professor, and I'll be meeting with him again next week. Oh boy.

I will say though that I thought I failed that second test. I'd barely studied for it (because I had a paper due on the same day), and the morning of the test, I woke up 8 minutes before the test began, threw on clothes, barely got my hair looking decent, and ran to get into the classroom before he handed out the tests. Got there just in time...but barely knew a thing on that test. And the essay question? SMH. 

My American Literature and Doctrine 1 classes seem to be manageable. I've improved in both classes, in my writing and in my test taking. So, I've at least been able to handle those things a bit better.

Socially?...Let's not even go there. After so many lessons learned, and realizing that most of my problems were being caused by knowing other people's business, I've done a better job at minding my own business. If people want to tell me things, that's fine. But I will not be prying into anybody's life just so I can be a part of what they're going through and to have privileged information. Nope. I'm done playing that game. 

And what do you know? After I made that decision, I've been pretty care-free in my social life. 

"What's going on with so-and-so?" No clue, you should ask them. 

"Hey, did you hear about...?" Nope, I sure didn't, and I really don't want to. 

"Oh my gosh, you won't believe what I just saw..." Yeah, I probably won't because I'd rather 1. see it for myself or 2. not see it at all.

WHEW. MY LIFE IN GIANT, NASTY BROWN PAPER BAG.

NOW...lemme tell y'all how FAITHFUL GOD IS.

God has been so gracious and merciful to me in giving me family and friends whom I can go to to cry about my problems and express my frustrations. Yes, I know that I'm supposed to go to God first, and that was such a hard thing for me to do because I felt like I was so distant from Him. But He spoke so clearly through friends like Bria and Ellie and family, like Pa. They prayed for me, read Scripture to me, and just walked with me to help me tackle my struggles. I can't tell you how many people have hugged me, written me sweet notes, given me cookies to cheer me up, and told me that they've been praying for me. I've been so blessed through my brothers- and sisters-in-Christ, and honestly, I haven't really realized it until now.

Remember when I said that I've been convicted of sermons that I've heard at my church? Well, thankfully, I'd been taking notes, so I have these sermon notes to remind me of the wonderful messages that have been spoken to me through this rough time in my life. And I was able to finally meet the pastor of my church and he prayed with me and even asked me the next week how the past week went for me. So blessed by him.

And I've been sincerely praying and asking God to change my heart and to fill this emptiness that I've been feeling for the past few months. Things still feel weird to me right now, but because I'm relying more on God to get me through the day (and by taking things one day at a time), it's okay that things are still a little weird. I think it's just because I'm still in a transition period. A growing period.

My rat project? Y'all, last night, I went in to attempt Exercise 2 of the project (reluctantly, but willingly) and I was able to finish Exercises 2 and 3 of my project!!! WHICH MEANS I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE EXERCISE TO GO AND I'LL BE DONE!!!! Well, not completely done because we have a pizza and graphing party next Tuesday to get our lab reports all sorted out. THEN I'll be done. You have no idea how relieved I am that I am more than halfway done with that rat project. It's been the ONE THING that I've been concerned about when it came time for Thanksgiving Break. I was afraid my parents would ask how my rat project went, and I'd be embarrassed as Grandpa and I both explained that I didn't finish it. Gahh!! But I'm now confident that, with hard work and determination, I can get this project done!

And even socially, things are looking up. A friend of mine, whom I haven't really connected with so well this semester, is gonna hangout with me soon. And I thank God that, even though there hasn't been much interaction with this person, He's made it evident that there's still a friendship there. Friendship is SO MUCH MORE than hanging out (as I've been told before). It's about investing in people you care about. It's about continuously forgiving a friend when they mess up because that's what we are called to do. We're called to love unconditionally, just as Christ loves us unconditionally.

I'm so thankful for all that God has taught me. Yes, this semester has been one rocky road, but I sincerely believe that every lesson that I've been taught has only made me stronger. I'm so excited for the upcoming parts of this Sweet Tea post so I can tell you which Scriptures and tunes have really encouraged me and have brought me through some breakdowns and dark places!

I pray that all is well with y'all! I'm so sorry that it's been a dry season for blogging! If any of y'all are going through a hard time, TAKE HEART! I hope that what I've been going through has encouraged y'all that GOD IS STILL WITH YOU. He's waiting for you to turn to Him and say, "Lord, I can't do this alone anymore. I surrender."

And how many posts have you read from me that have repeated this very lesson? There's been a lot, haha. But that just proves how much I am just like Israel, God's chosen people. I constantly go back and forth, from trusting God entirely, to trusting in my own abilities. We criticize the Israel of the Bible so much, when we should really be humbled because they are a perfect picture of who we are as Christians today. And Christ is so willing to love us unconditionally. To forgive us over and over again, because He loves us.

Love y'all so much! Praying for y'all! Expect another post SOON! Sweet Tea #3...Part 2 TOMORROW!!! :D

LOVE Y'ALL!

*~.Mishy.~* (^^) <3

Beautiful Brokenness with a Side of Humble Pie

Oh my goodness. 

Well, remember when I said that if all of those plans I had for my next post went down the drain, you could look forward to another Sweet Tea post? Well, that plan went down the drain too. :P It's been ONE WHOLE MONTH since my last post! And that's just crazy to me!

I received an email this past week from one of my readers (thank you so much for that by the way! :) Shout-out to you!!! ), and it has motivated me to write again! Not that I was gonna stop writing in the first place, but you know what I mean...

God has already been teaching me SO MUCH during these first couple of months of my sophomore year. When I step back and look at my life or when someone makes a comment about what's been happening, not just in my life but in theirs and others around us,  it's crazy how we can see God's hand in everything. 

So, let's see how much important stuff I can crunch into this one post. I'll begin with this:

A few weeks ago on a Wednesday (Day of Prayer, actually) I had my breaking point.

It felt like every single thing that had been weighing me down, stressing me out, and worrying me had finally pulled me into this hole and I was completely shattered and broken. I tried to hold it all together like I had for the past couple of weeks, smiling at everyone and giving hugs. I definitely meant the hugs. But the smile was only half-hearted.

And it wasn't just outside forces that were causing this either. I had caused some of my own pain by hurting other people, and I knew it was wrong. I was so disgusted at myself for doing the things I'd done, and couldn't believe how much pain I'd caused to people I'd said I loved. 

So there I sat next to my friend, crying my eyes out onto her shoulder. I really dislike crying in front of people. I try to avoid it as much as possible. But this time, the tears couldn't be held back any longer.

As I cried, I silently prayed to God, "I surrender. I am done with all of this drama, this constant cloud of stress and worry about almost everything, and even more with myself for what I've done. Please just take it all away. Let Your will be done, and not mine. And just give me peace and joy through all of this. Let me know that You are there."

After maybe ten minutes of straight crying and my friend hugging me and telling me that I was loved, she invited me to a student-led worship event that was happening that night. I nodded my head and told her I'd think about coming, but to be honest, my mind was already sort of settled on not going.

But as I walked back to my room, I could feel the Holy Spirit urging me to go. I wrestled with the thought for a bit, but after finding out that some of my friends and girls on my hall were going, I decided to go.

And oh. My. Goodness. I am SO GLAD I went. 

As I stood with my fellow peers, the first notes of "How He Loves" began playing. And as we started singing, the tears came back and couldn't be stopped, again. My brokenness hurt so much. I felt such a weight in my chest...

...but at the same time...

...I could just feel the Holy Spirit overwhelm my soul. And I was so HUMBLEd as I was reminded of how big God's love is for me. And how He loved me, even when I messed up. It was such an incredible feeling, I can't even put it into words.

It wasn't until later, though, that my friend Ellie (who is the new PFM! Check out the update on the "People Frequently Mentioned" tab!) helped me realize the significance of that Wednesday. I mean, I knew for myself that there was a MAJOR DIFFERENCE in my attitude and air on Wednesday and my attitude and air on Thursday. I woke up Thursday morning, threw on a cute outfit, and went to breakfast happier than I'd been in the past couple of weeks! I waved to a friend of mine, and even he said, "I'm glad you're back to your perky self again!"

I can't tell you how amazing I felt. I thank God so, So, SO, SO much for giving me joy and peace again! Everything wasn't resolved, but I had so much peace. And it took God taking me to such a broken state of being to remember that He is faithful and that He cared for me so much. I was just so HUMBLEd.

Okay, so throughout the next few weeks, I was feeling better. In one chapel I was reminded of how God has chosen me to be a child of His. I did NOTHING to become a Christian, but He chose me out of darkness. And just remembering that HUMBLEd me so much again. 

But then, you can't always have perfect days. And even on "perfect" days, there might be a thing or two that didn't go as planned. 

So anyway, I began to feel very insecure about myself. I know that God made me "fearfully and wonderfully made," and I know that everyone is attracted to different types of people. But I just felt really discouraged because I felt like I wasn't attractive enough for anyone to find me beautiful or worthy to be loved. I was always the "cute and adorable Blasian or little sister" or something like that (which, by the way, a totally awesome compliment! I'd just heard it so many times that the value of it began to decrease). 

And so, I struggled with my insecurities for a week or so. It was so easy to be positive about other people, but so hard for me to be positive about myself. My friends (girls and guys) say I am way too hard on myself and that I don't give myself enough credit.

One night as a guy friend and I sat overlooking the city lights below, I explained my latest struggle. He is such a wise person and a great listener, so it was easy to pour out my heart to him. And after I was finished, he reassured me that God made me special the way I am and that He has a plan for my life that is going to be just amazing. God used him so well that night, and I am so grateful!

After praying together, my friend told me this in a half-joking way: "Well, Mishy, now when you begin to struggle with insecurity again, you just come to this spot and, do you see those three lights back there? You just look at those, and remember our talk." And honestly, even though he was kidding, I took his advice seriously, and expressed that I would.

And I've been doing it ever since. I have claimed that as my spot. And I don't always go there when I'm struggling with insecurity, but I go there or pass by there and see those three lights every morning, to be reminded of the conversation I had with my friend, but also of the faithfulness of God.

{*HOLD UP!: There was one night when I went to my spot and those three lights weren't shining and I was FREAKING OUT. Bria claims that I wasn't looking in the right spot, but I think I'd remember where those lights were! Still had a great experience, though, despite the missing lights!}

And after that night, the next day I was encouraged, but still internally struggling a little with my appearance. And as I went on throughout my day, four people came up to me and told me that I looked beautiful today or that they loved how pretty my hair is. Normally, I get that maybe once or twice in a day. But four times?! That's WAY too many times for it to be a coincidence. And I give God the honor and glory for that. 

It just floors me how faithful and loving God is. He knew that I was still kind of struggling with my appearance that day and that it would take some verbal encouragement for me to realize that it wasn't just my close friends who thought I was beautiful inside and out. The fact that He cares enough about that small thing in my life that I needed? I just don't deserve such love and I am yet again, HUMBLED. 

{*HOLD UP! #2: have you noticed that my spirit's been served a HUGE SLICE OF HUMBLE PIE? I know it's not what is usually meant by the phrase, "I've been served a huge slice of humble pie," but that's what it's meant for me these past couple of months and it's just been so great! :D}

Then, the next couple of weeks were just stressful because of SCHOOL! Throughout my social and spiritual struggles, I still had school to deal with! AHH!!!

And I will admit, I made some poor choices when it came to choosing school or social life or school and sleep. But this weekend, I have made a HUGE step in that I finished ALL of my homework for tomorrow yesterday (Saturday) and I am being kept accountable for my Sabbath by my RA A.K. So today I've been "SABBATHIN'!", and it's been TOTALLY AWESOME because now I get time to catch up with you all! YAY!!! \(^^)/

...wow.

I think I caught y'all up on everything! Now granted, I didn't give y'all details about events that have happened like Mountain Affair (a MAJOR talent show here that a lot of my friends were in, and that I stayed in line for 6 hours to see. It was awesome), Burning at the Stage (okay, I stayed for like, 30 minutes because I had a psych test (the next day. So I wouldn't have had much to tell ya there...), Jazz on the Overlook (I have officially declared this my favorite event of the year! I love to dance around with my friends and eat dessert! :D), and Homecoming (I only went to the Varsity guys soccer game [which we won! 5-1!] and the fireworks [which were amazing as well! Great little moment with some of my closest friends!]). 

And so, after I finish this post, I will probably go get ready to head over to a fellow Balconite's home for dinner and then after that, I'm going to my friend's house for her birthday and we're going to watch the Season 4 premiere of The Walking Dead!!!!! I am SO. PUMPED.

So, yeah guys! Hopefully if my Sabbathin' schedule goes well, I'll be able to keep up with my blog more often! But I wanna give a SHOUT-OUT to all those faithful readers out there who have continued to check in on my blog to see if anything new's been put up! You have NO IDEA how much I appreciate y'all! 

In fact, here's a *BIG HUG* from me to you!: 

(>^^)>        *<3 <3 <3*

I love you all!!!!! I hope these past couple of months have been great and that God's blessed you, not by an easy-going school year or a series of perfect days, but by constantly showing you His deep, deep love and grace through hard lessons and trials (not saying that I wish trials on anyone, but they will inevitably come into our lives, and it's better to think of them as a way to get closer to our Heavenly Father than "curses" or other pessimistic things!)

And I hope this post wasn't all over the place. Like I said, I'll try my best to be more consistent! But my friends weren't kidding when they said sophomore year of college was one of the hardest and busiest years! (^o^)

You all are WONDERFUL and SUCH A BLESSING TO ME!!! 

LOVE Y'ALL!
*~.Mishy.~* (^^) <3

It's Been So Long...: A Short-ish Update

Hey, guys!

I know. It's been WAY TOO LONG since I last blogged. I'm so sorry I've been so distant lately! But as soon as I moved into my dorm room at Covenant, I became busy, busy, BUSY. To summarize my life for the past 3 weeks, I will make a list of things that occurred. You're probably wondering why I don't just do a "Sweet Tea" post. But I want to save those for another time Bear with me, because I can remember a few things in order, but after a certain point, everything starts to get jumbled up.

• Move-in day with Bria
• 8-hour work days=EXHAUSTION
• Some struggles (already! And the school year hadn't even begun at this point!)
• Upperclassmen move-in day
• The Yellow Deli=the best sandwiches, chips, and cream soda on the face of this planet!
• Soda pong!
• Definition: basically the game "beer pong" only with a variety of drinks. We first played with just Dr. Pepper and the second time we played it with strawberry Fanta, A&W cream soda, and apple juice. (I don't want to see a glass of apple juice for a LONG TIME.)
• Study, study, study!
• My weekends have been consumed with books and books!
• Sleeping in 
• I don't work on Saturday this semester!!! HOORAY!
• Making new friends and catching up with old ones 
• I've had so many lunch and dinner dates in two-and-a-half weeks! I've been trying to catch up on how everyone's been and also trying to get to know some of the freshman. And it's been a good 
• Being challenged in Drawing 1
• MY DRAWING OF THE HUMAN SKELETON IS DUE NEXT TUESDAY. I AM SO NERVOUS!! But I'm going to really try my best!
• 8AMs. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
• Whether it's my U.S. History class or work, I have to be up and ready by at least 7:45am. I want to get breakfast too, so I have to get up at around 6:45am to get myself ready to head over to breakfast. Aish.
• But despite the 8AMs...I'm trying the best I can to LIVE WELL AND FAITHFULLY.
• While I sit in my classes, do my homework, work, or socialize with people, I try to actively pay attention and do the best I can so I can glorify God through these things. This way, I'm not just daydreaming in class when I'm supposed to be paying attention.
• THE RAT.
• I'm taking my grandfather's General Psychology class this semester, and we have a rat project that deals with reinforcing behavior and the Skinner box. I'm kinda more excited about it now than I was at the very beginning of the semester. But we'll see how this goes...I may name my rat Ophelia...

So yeah! That's been my life so far! I hope this small update will suffice for now! I promise I'll try the best I can to update you on what's been going on!

How about I'll make it up to you by giving you a COMING UP NEXT section here...

Coming Up Next...

1. Photos of the dorm room. I told y'all I'd show you pictures of my and Taylor's dorm room. And that hasn't happened yet, haha. :P So, I'll be posting pics of the room in my next blog post! Our room is so comfy this year! I love it! :)
2. A new PFM! Guess what? There will be a new "Person Frequently Mentioned"!!!! I just started hanging out with her at the beginning of the semester, but she's such a good friend! She makes me laugh, she's a good listener, she gives great advice, she encourages me, she goes CRAZY after she's had half a buffalo chicken wrap (it's the SPICY!), and she challenges me in such great ways! I can't wait for you to meet her! :)
3. Class & work schedule. Wonder if I'm making up how busy I am? Well, you'll get to take a sneak-peek at my class and work schedule! I think I go, go, go for 12-hours a day and once dinner hits, I can "relax" i.e. eat and do homework and drink tea. 
4. Photos of the 1st Cookie Cocktail! Last year, I'd bring groups of people over to my grandparents' house so I could bake cookies for them and they could study and I could do my laundry. Now, I'm having SO MANY PEOPLE ask me when the heck we're going to Grandma's LOL. So, every other weekend or so, I'm going to take different groups to my grandparents' for what I now call a "Cookie Cocktail."  (cocktail meaning appetizer, when really, the cookies are more of our meal for the entire day than an appetizer haha :D)
5. If all this goes down the drain...You can look forward to the 3rd Sweet Tea post! EXCITING! :D That way you can quickly catch up on what I'm reading, listening to, working on, wearing, etc.

So there you have it! Some things to look forward to! 

I hope that those who are in school aren't too stressed out and are doing the best they can! Let's all pray for one another as we are in the midst of the busy school season! Not only can school stress us out, but so can other parts of life such as friendships, relationships, family-life, health, financial things, etc. But let us be reminded that God knows our every need and is in control of everything! :)

Y'all, tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!! \(^^)/ You can all make it through the day to get to the weekend! You can do this!!!

#LuvYa

*~.Mishy.~* (^^) <3

R-E-A-D-Y!!!!!!

Have I mentioned how badly I'm ready to move back to Covenant?

Because I probably cannot express to y'all how much I AM READY TO GO BACK.

Seriously though! I have friends who have already moved back in because they're on sports teams or they're O-Team leaders, or they were working this summer at Covenant and were living in the apartments and had to move into their dorms this past Sunday.

Yes. I am ready to see that campus again.

And the phone call I got from Caylin about an hour ago pretty much reconfirmed for the MILLIONTH TIME how badly I'm ready for this school year to get started. 

I am ready to live on Balcony and bond with the girls who've lived there before, with the freshman, and with the new girls.

I'm ready to live with Taylor in our brand new dorm room format (I'll have to post pictures of the room once we're both moved in! I really hope it works out!)

I'm ready to see Bria, Caylin, Taylor, and Corinne, MY BEST FRIENDS, face-to-face and talk to them about EVERYTHING over pieces of cake from City Cafe and cream sodas and chips from the Yellow Deli! (even though we'll have to cut down on those trips. *sheds a tear*)

And yes...I'm even ready for Chartwells food! Pass me the cheesy bread!

Bria, have you finished sewing your shorts?

Caylin, have you finished your chapel summaries?

Taylor, are you ready to decorate our room with all the awesomeness we've gotten over the summer?

Corinne, are you ready to see your little sophomore friends visit you in your house in St. Elmo?

I sure hope so. Because y'all...

I am R-E-A-D-Y!!!!! :D

Hope those who've already started school are doing well! I know it's rough to go back to classes and teachers and books and homework. But you can totally do it! Don't give up! Do your best and glorify God in ALL you do!! :)

Those who still have summer time left (like me) anticipate this next school year with excitement, but enjoy the rest of the free time you have (something I am doing, despite how much I want to be back at Covenant LOL). 

Praying for all of you!!!

LOVE YA!
*~.Mishy.~* (^^) <3