Silence is Deadly

What is this...

Why do all the best topics for me to blog about burst into my mind past midnight? It's the curse of a writer, I swear...

And I don't know about you...

But when I hear the phrase, "Silence is deadly," it just reminds me of those old Nickelodeon commercials that talked about the different types of farts (ones that were done out loud but didn't smell and the "silent but deadly" ones...) Yeah the phrases aren't exactly the same but whatever...I digress...

On to the important stuff.

Lately, I'm realizing how much me being silent is hurting other people, and myself. I've been in some situations in the past and even recently where some things shouldn't have been done, and I knew I had to say something in order for those things to stop. 

But I was too afraid to say anything. I was scared of losing a friendship or what could have been a potential boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. So, I kept my mouth shut. And later, I paid the consequences for that and ended up losing the friendship anyway. So, being silent about what's going on with the person it's going on with is deadly for the obvious reasons: you'll get hurt in the process and/or so will the other person and your relationship will never be the same. There could also be extended, maybe even life-long consequences because you didn't speak up when you should have. 

And, trust me, if you don't remember that Jesus carries your burden for you, the consequences can be a deep burden. Just the memories and flashbacks of what you did and what you could have done or said hurt enough. By God's grace, we don't have to deal with the burden of that hurt.

Also, it's not just being silent to the exact person that's deadly...being silent to those who care about you such as friends and family is also very dangerous. I struggled so much last school year with telling my family and friends exactly what's going on with me, whether it's a friendship with someone or some certain situations that occurred, and even now I still struggle with it.

But once I've built up the courage to tell the people closest to me exactly what's going on, I feel so much better. Because they don't judge me if I've made mistakes, but encourage me and pray for me if they know I have to take more steps in dealing with a certain friendship or situation. And knowing that there are people praying for me makes me feel more confident in what I have to do. 

Even now, I am praying and lying in wait for a conversation I'm going to have to have with someone close to me. Am I still afraid of losing the friendship? Yes. I know that things will change: feelings might be hurt and space and boundaries will be placed. And I'm not exactly sure how it will all end. But I do know that even if things do end, God is still faithful. Maybe that friendship I had needed to end forever. Maybe it will end for a time and begin again, stronger than it ever was. Maybe it will continue and grow into something better later on. Who knows? Only God. And that means God is the only One I should have complete faith in when dealing with these types of things.

As I approach this time in prayer, I also pray for those of you who are struggling through the same thing. I encourage you to speak up and not be silent. Pray that God will give you the strength to say something. 

I know: telling someone close to you what's going on and asking for advice may feel embarrassing or "weak". But I can't tell you how great I feel after I do tell someone close to me what's going on. 

Wow. A couple of days ago, these thoughts wouldn't have made sense. Heck, this morning all of this wouldn't have made sense. 

And it just leads me to say this again: it's crazy how thoughts and things come together so well after midnight...