This Weekend: A Lesson of BEAUTY and JOY

OH, the words BEAUTY and JOY.

BEAUTY: A word so many girls, including me, are still trying to figure out. Seriously, the world defines beauty as so many things: skinny, straight hair, wearing certain clothing, doing certain things to the body. It's so insanely crazy. And all the girls in the world are trying to catch up with the trends, trying to catch the eyes of everyone.

I will admit, this weekend was one of the roughest weekends for me spiritually. I was so tired out by school and I hadn't been reading my Bible as much as I used to. And I began to question my self-worth. Usually, I am NOT looking at myself in the mirror everyday and saying I'm hot, but I don't degrade myself that much either. I say my self-worth level is pretty even. 

But I soon began to question my self-worth and my beauty. Beauty came from within, I knew that. But still...when someone makes comments about your physical looks and they aren't totally bad but not good either...yeah, it still hurts. My friends reassured me that there was nothing wrong with me, and I knew it...but still...you can't help but question. 

I knew this was true: NO ONE was gonna make me change into someone else. I had played that game before and WAS NOT going to play ever again. It was exhausting and not worth it the time I put into it. 

*GREAT NEWS Y'ALL (yes, it has to do with what I'm writing about. This is NOT random!): the brother-in-Christ that was on my heart so much last week? FINALLY got to see him last night! \(^^)/ It was SUCH a good visit, and it was so nice to catch up on what was going on in his life and in mine. Prayers had been answered on both sides, and I told him of my self-worth struggles. He encouraged me SO SO SO MUCH, just like my other friends had, and I was reminded that, even if we don't see each other everyday, he still has my back and I have his no matter what.

This visit brings me to the next word: JOY.

Despite my beauty struggle, God had given me SO. MUCH. JOY.

1. The post before this one (well, I guess after this one because my latest posts come first, and then they the ones before come after...ANYWAYS!) pretty much told you how great my Friday night was. Our little CoonCult fam had an awesome time making food, taking pictures, laughing, and watching a movie. That time brought me so much joy that I felt as if schoolwork couldn't hold me down! SUCH a great time! :)
2. I had a great time with a girl from my hall. We went off the mountain to eat at an Asian restaurant and have ice cream, and we had some awesome conversations just about life. 
3. I had a great bro/sis date with another bro-in-Christ of mine and it was great to get to know him better and to just laugh with him and have a great time! (^^)
4. I got to watch Arrested Development with some of the CoonCult fam. (that show is hilarious)
5. I got to see my bro-in-Christ that left my school and catch up and give GREAT. BIG. BEAR HUGS. So awesome!!
6. Another girl on my hall and I talked for like 2 hours about life and where we stood this semester with certain things (school, dinner dates, hall events, etc.)
7. I was so ready to be poured into at church. I was genuinely ready to hear what God had to say to me. My heart was open. And I did learn some things!
8. I kinda got homework done. Yeah, still working on that... (^^') I actually should be doing homework now, but you know...taking a study break...again...haha...
9. Had an AWESOME WORSHIP JAM with the CoonCult fam. And it was raining so hard outside that some of them decided to play in the rain. Not me...I like to stay dry and un-muddy...but I bet it was fun! :)

But despite all of those joyous moments, Satan tried SO HARD to get me down. He continually tried to remind me of my beauty struggle and things came up in my life that completely broke my heart and tore me up inside. Tons of tears, hugs, and sharing of hearts. 

But Jesus knows everything that we struggle with and loves it when we come to Him and pour our hearts out to Him. He is always there for us, through joy and pain.

So, even though there were things this weekend that could have completely destroyed my joyful, positive attitude, in the end, I knew that worrying about it would do nothing to change the status of those situations. Relying on God...that's all I could do. And He continued to give me joy, even as I was reading for school (LOL that's how you KNOW it was JOY!)

OH MAN EVEN NOW...JOY, JOY, JOY!!!!!! And I'm studying Spanish 102, so it's definitely joy from God. For there is no joy in Spanish for me... :P

Hope everyone's weekend was as great or even better than mine! Have an awesome week! Be JOYFUL! Thank God for this week no matter what happens!!! (^^)

*SUGGESTED SONG: "Gold" by Britt Nicole